so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
