She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
