I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
