I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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