I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
