I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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