i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
