Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
