before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Who died my cat blue again?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
