oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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