How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
