I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
