it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
