You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
