I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
