HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
