This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
