If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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