The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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