i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize