how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
