you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So. Much. Porn.
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