You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
