He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
