How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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