Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
