There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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