3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
