Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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