Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my being single is dangerous.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
