I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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