ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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