so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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