I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
