You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
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