is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
