U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
