What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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