so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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