whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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