OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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