but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just had sex bonerless
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
