I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this hospital has no fireball
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
