I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
