i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
