Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
