Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can I color on your dick again?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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