I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
