I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
