They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
