She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
