So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
