No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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