Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
