apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
