I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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