you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
