a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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