put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
