naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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