Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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