I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
