the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Houston, we have a squirter
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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