AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
