Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
