Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
