You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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