in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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