carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
